My frantic actions heightened my senses, mobilized my spirit, sample college admissions essays. You will get scores on it also and it is a part to weigh your average score in the college exams. The iTaylor College Edition is now available for pre-order. I find what I need to treat her injury in the sports medicine training sample college admissions essays. Similarly, references to the American dream, sports achievement, and community service are all established in the space of one essay.
Sample essay for college admission: how it can improve your essay
The college admission process is tough for many students. If being accepted was easy, everyone would be doing it. However, sample college admissions essays, as we see, not everyone risks starting the admissions process. How do you get started? You can start by finding some example college admission essays that performed well and learn why they did so. EssayEdge has the best college admissions samples in pdf format, so you can be sure that they can be a great guide for your further work. To succeed with this challenging task, you can refer to our top-rated Ivy League editors or download samples to receive some guidance.
Lucky for you, a sample college admissions essays admission sample can provide that help. There are three main types of essays available: personal statement, scholarship essay and essay letter for providing the interest, and, also, college admissions essay. Knowing which one you need before you start your search will make things much easier along the way. There are many websites that exist just for the purpose of providing samples specifically tailored to certain document types. EssayEdge is one of those services!
You can be completely sure that our college admission essay samples are much better than anything else you could find. Moreover, our samples are completely free. No matter where you find your sample, make sure it meets all your needs before you start writing. It may seem like overkill, but if you want to make sample college admissions essays things go well for you in this step of college preparation, then take your time and do things right each time. Most colleges and universities require applicants to submit an essay as part of their college application. Make sure you check your sources and read carefully to ensure the content is not plagiarized and is actually an example of a good essay.
The admissions sample essay is a paper that is uploaded to various sources to help applicants create their own essays properly. While reading and even studying the features of sample essays, applicants can get inspired and note down some specific features that can be implemented in their future essays. We have gathered the most popular questions and answered them, so you can find the answer to your bothering issues. This type of sample is not an accurate representation of who you are and will do nothing but hurt your application. For sure, samples at EssayEdge are checked and original. Therefore, you can be sure that our samples will only make your essay better! How do I use a sample college essay for admission?
In order to use examples as a guide for writing your own admissions essay, you should read the content carefully and underline any words or phrases that stand out to you. You may also want to note what you think the author is trying to convey with their essay and how they use specific sample college admissions essays, sentence structure, and examples to convey those points. After that, consider whether or not your story would fit into a similar structure and if any of your experiences could be related to the examples you took notes on. Finally, begin writing your own personal statement by incorporating the notes you took onto your own paper. Make sure to include the particular points, details, examples, and structures that stood out to you in order to maintain consistency with the essay samples for college, sample college admissions essays.
Common questions about college essay examples for admission What should I know about samples college admission essays? Plagiarism can result in refusal from school or even some charges depending on how bad the infraction is. So, please do not copy content from any source. It is better to refer to a professional essay editor and ask for some brainstorming assistance rather than spoiling your prospects and losing a place in the college. When using samples, students should understand that they are just for reference purposes. Do not copy content word-for-word from the example sample college admissions essays instead use it as a general guide to help you write an essay of your own unique style.
What makes a good sample really good? When using samples to help you write your own essay, it is important to ensure the content is written in an appropriate voice and tone. Check the structure and grammar. Also, we highly advise referring to the samples published on popular and trustworthy sources, such as EssayEdge. We do care about the content we provide for our customers and site visitors, so you can be sure that our essays can be used as examples to create your own excellent, essay. When using samples, you should not copy any specific phrases or sentences verbatim. This may be considered plagiarism and will reflect negatively on your application if you are discovered to have done this.
Even if you like essay a lot and it somehow reflects your own life and experience, it is prohibited to submit sample you found on the internet as a part of your admissions package. What is a bad sample of a college admission essay? Any phrases or sentences taken directly from other sources should be avoided, as should anything that is not relevant to you or your experiences. In addition, be wary of content that the student has written themselves but is inappropriate for the topic at hand. The following are examples of common errors found in examples college admissions essays: — Most college essays are sample college admissions essays in the first person.
If you are using a samples essay that is not, chances are it was written by someone else and submitted under their name. Be careful when looking for an appropriate sample. Such essays usually contain bad advice and content that is inappropriate to include in your college admissions essay. Stay away from those examples. It is better to use samples at EssayEdge as they are accurate and error-free, sample college admissions essays. Pay special attention to the structure and the way people convey their personal experiences.
You may want to jot down ideas for content or certain points you want to include before you begin. Then, sample college admissions essays, just write as much as you can about each of those notes until it feels complete. Make sure your essay conveys your experiences and makes an effort to convince the college to accept you for who you are as opposed to simply listing off accomplishments or other credentials. Do not worry about having a perfect essay once you determine what admissions officers want. If you have a rough draft, take some time to revise it, then go back and edit again. Also, you can refer to our proficient essay editors, who can polish your essay and give precious advice on content and structure.
Once you think it is ready for submission, you sample college admissions essays send it off on the application website. If you missed the step of referring to the essay editor and pointed out grammatical errors or sections that you believe are confusing or unclear, take some time to consider how to make it better before re-submitting your essay for review. When writing college essays, remember that each piece of content should be unique and not copied from anywhere else, such as another admissions essay or published work. Plagiarism can lead to disciplinary actions, including having your application sample college admissions essays out or rejected.
Avoid using clichés by choosing your words carefully and thoughtfully. Make sure to have others read through your essay so you can get feedback on how it could be improved before sending it in. Each college will have different requirements for what they are looking for in an sample college admissions essays, but sample college admissions essays overall idea is usually to convey who you are as a person. Admissions officers want someone who is not only academically qualified but also looks beyond just grades and test scores to see if the applicant would be a good fit for their college community. They hope that students that go there will bring something new and unique to the table which cannot be found anywhere else, even with other applicants that have stronger academic qualifications.
Ideally, your essay should serve as a way for the admissions officer to get to know you and gain insight into who you are as an individual. It is important that your essay is cohesive and not just a list of activities, accomplishments, or awards. The process should give admission tutors a chance to understand what makes you unique beyond sample college admissions essays well you did on standardized tests such as the ACT and SAT. They want to see how those grades relate back to your personal experiences so they can determine whether or not they will be able to help you succeed at their college. They also hope through reading these essays that students will find out more about themselves in relation to the college community which may influence their decision regarding if they would like it there or not.
Beyond a general understanding of what admissions officers are looking for, you should pay attention to how each essay is structured and written so you have a better idea of how to write your own, sample college admissions essays. Take note of the way they talk about their experiences as it can give you an idea of how to describe your own life experiences if yours incorporate any similar themes. Look at the way they use language in order to create a certain tone with readers, sample college admissions essays. This will help shape the final version once you begin writing it according to your ideas about what makes an effective application essay. For example, sample college admissions essays, it can be beneficial to take a look at some of the questions that are commonly asked by admissions officers in their application essays.
Asking yourself these same questions about yourself will help you organize your thoughts and make them cohesive when writing them down, sample college admissions essays. Knowing what they want to read about helps you shape your essay in accordance with what they are looking for. They are asking for similar responses on admission essay prompt from applicants, with each one highlighting something significant about them as students and people, sample college admissions essays. They want to know what makes you unique so their school can have someone there to share your perspective with other students. This will allow them to learn more about themselves and others through getting to know you better.
When doing this research on other examples, take note of how each section is structured and how it flows overall, sample college admissions essays. This will help you to figure out which parts are most effective for your writing style. There is no one way to write an essay. Still, some general guidelines that are helpful here include using the 5 paragraph format where each part of the essay consists of a specific number of sentences in order to keep things organized so they flow well together. This includes starting off with an introduction about who you are and what makes you stand out, following up with body paragraphs about particular experiences or events in your life that demonstrate these qualities, and wrapping it all up with a conclusion that tells readers where this has taken sample college admissions essays in life before telling them what you plan on doing next.
The tone of voice should be professional while still being personable enough so readers can relate to you. Using emotional language, making connections between your work and personal experiences, and using specific examples are vital if you want to convey the message that this essay is sharing an essential part of who you are. Writing application essays for colleges comes with quite a bit of pressure, but it helps break the task down into smaller parts to sample college admissions essays through it all. Taking care not to rush will help prevent mistakes during this process while still allowing additional time for revisions if needed before submission deadlines roll around. No, no, no! EssayEdge provides fully free sample essays. All you have to do is sign in or create a new account, then click the download option.
The free examples will be downloaded to your computer or phone as long as you follow these instructions. You may be certain that all sample essays at EssayEdge have been thoroughly reviewed by our Ivy League editors. Because we care about the material we give, our editors have double-checked all of the samples you can see, sample college admissions essays.
personal belief essay
They left like birds; laughing one minute and in a better place the next. Steve Jobs inspired me, when in his commencement address to Stanford University in , he said "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma--which is living with the results of other people's thinking. I want to live my life daily. Every day I want to live. Every morning when I wake up, I want to be excited by the gift of a new day. I know I am being idealistic and young, and that my philosophy on life is comparable to a calculus limit; I will never reach it. But I won't give up on it because, I can still get infinitely close and that is amazing. Every day is an apology to my humanity; because I am not perfect, I get to try again and again to "get it right.
The hourglass of life incessantly trickles on and we are powerless to stop it. So, I will forgive and forget, love and inspire, experience and satire, laugh and cry, accomplish and fail, live and die. This is how I want to live my life, with this optimistic attitude that every day is a second chance. All the time, we have the opportunity to renew our perspective on life, to correct our mistakes, and to simply move on. Like the phoenix I will continue to rise from the ashes, experienced and renewed. I will not waste time for my life is already in flux. In all its splendor The Phoenix rises In a burst of orange and yellow It soars in the baby blue sky Heading to that Great Light Baptized in the dance of time Fearless, eternal, beautiful It releases a breathtaking aurora And I gasp at the enormity.
Thank you! Your guide is on its way. In the meantime, please let us know how we can help you crack the the college admissions code. You can also learn more about our 1-on-1 college admissions support here. This is a college essay that worked for Duke University. Suggested reading: How to Get Into Duke. As soon as the patient room door opened, the worst stench I have ever encountered hit me square in the face. Though I had never smelled it before, I knew instinctively what it was: rotting flesh. A small, elderly woman sat in a wheelchair, dressed in a hospital gown and draped in blankets from the neck down with only her gauze-wrapped right leg peering out from under the green material.
Q began unwrapping the leg, and there was no way to be prepared for what I saw next: gangrene-rotted tissue and blackened, dead toes. Never before had I seen anything this gruesome—as even open surgery paled in comparison. Doctors in the operating room are calm, cool, and collected, making textbook incisions with machine-like, detached precision. It is a profession founded solely on skill and technique—or so I thought. This grisly experience exposed an entirely different side of this profession I hope to pursue. Feeling the tug of nausea in my stomach, I forced my gaze from the terrifying wound onto the hopeful face of the ailing woman, seeking to objectively analyze the situation as Dr. Q was struggling to do himself. Slowly and with obvious difficulty, Dr.
Q explained that an infection this severe calls for an AKA: Above the Knee Amputation. I marveled at the compassion in Dr. The patient wiped her watery eyes and smiled a long, sad smile. I trust you. Back in his office, Dr. Suddenly, everything fell into place for me. This completely different perspective broadened my understanding of the surgical field and changed my initial perception of who and what a surgeon was. I not only want to help those who are ill and injured, but also to be entrusted with difficult decisions the occupation entails. Discovering that surgery is also a moral vocation beyond the generic application of a trained skill set encouraged me. I now understand surgeons to be much more complex practitioners of medicine, and I am certain that this is the field for me.
This is a supplemental essay that worked for Stanford University. Suggested reading: How to Get Into Stanford Undergrad and How to Ace the Stanford Roommate Essay. In most conventional classrooms, we are taught to memorize material. We study information to regurgitate it on a test and forget it the following day. I thought this was learning. But this past summer, I realized I was wrong. I lived on a college campus with students and studied a topic. I selected Physical Science. On the first day of class, our teacher set a box on the table and poured water into the top, and nothing came out.
Then, he poured more water in, and everything slowly came out. We were told to figure out what had happened with no phones or textbooks, just our brains. We worked together to discover in the box was a siphon, similar to what is used to pump gas. We spent the next weeks building solar ovens, studying the dynamic of paper planes, diving into the content of the speed of light and space vacuums, among other things. We did this with no textbooks, flashcards, or information to memorize. During those five weeks, we were not taught impressive terminology or how to ace the AP Physics exam.
We were taught how to think. More importantly, we were taught how to think together. Learning is not memorization or a competition. Learning is working together to solve the problems around us and better our community. This is a college essay that worked for University of Pennsylvania UPenn. Suggested reading: How to Get Into UPenn. When I was thirteen and visiting Liberia, I contracted what turned out to be yellow fever. Luckily, my family managed to drive me several hours away to an urban hospital, where I was treated. The exploration led me to the African Disease Prevention Project ADPP , a non-profit organization associated with several universities.
I decided to create the first high school branch of the organization; I liked its unique way of approaching health and social issues. As branch president, I organize events from small stands at public gatherings to person dinner fundraisers in order to raise both money and awareness. But overall, ADPP has taught me that small changes can have immense impacts. The difference between ADPP and most other organizations is its emphasis on the basics and making changes that last. Working towards those changes to solve real life problems is what excites me. I found that the same idea of change through simple solutions also rang true during my recent summer internship at Dr. At the lab, I focused on parsing through medical databases and writing programs that analyze cancerous genomes to find relationships between certain cancers and drugs.
For the first time in my science career, my passion was going to have an immediate effect on other people, and to me, that was enthralling. Working with Project ADPP and participating in medical research have taught me to approach problems in a new way. Finding those steps and achieving them is what gets me excited and hungry to explore new solutions in the future. This student was admitted to UC Berkeley. Suggested reading: How to Get Into UC Berkeley and How to Write Great UC Essays. The phenomenon of interdependency, man depending on man for survival, has shaped centuries of human civilization.
However, I feel, the youth of today are slowly disconnecting from their community. For the past few years, human connection has intrigued me and witnessing the apathy of my peers has prompted me to engage in various leadership positions in order to motivate them to complete community service and become active members of society. Less than a year before ninth grade began, my cousin and close friend passed away from cancer, and in the hodge-podge of feelings, I did not emotionally deal with either death. However, a simple tale helped me deal with these deaths and take action. I was never fully aware of how closely humans rely upon each other until I read The Fall of Freddy the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia in freshman year.
The allegory is about a leaf that changes with the seasons, finally dying in the winter, realizing that his purpose was to help the tree thrive. After reading it, I was enlightened on the cycle of life and realized the tremendous impact my actions had on others. I watched as each student created friendships with other students on our team and members of the Phoenix community. At first the group leader ship consisted of only my advisor in me; however, I gained the support of the administrators. I spent well over an hour a day preparing for the event, and it was all worth it!
The Sonora Eagles were students of different grade levels, ethnicities, socioeconomic backgrounds, and educational ability. We joked and played football while volunteering. Our whole team gathered around, and I asked people to share how they have been affected by cancer. As I went through the crowd, their faces illuminated by candlelight, their cheeks were wet with cleansing tears, I realize the impact I had on them, the purpose I was fulfilling; but most importantly, I realized the impact they had had on me. The Sonora Eagles were my means for dealing with the death of my loved ones to cancer.
The theme for relay for life is a hope for a cure. Through this experience as a leader, I have come to realize, as a community, we hope together, we dream together, we work together, and we succeed together. This is the phenomenon of interdependency, the interconnectedness of life, the pivotal reason for human existence. I have continued this momentum by starting a Sonora High School chapter of American Cancer Society Youth, a club dedicated to youth involvement and several aspects of the American Cancer Society, including the recent Arizona Proposition Each one of us leaves find a legacy as we for fill our purpose in life.
I believe my purpose as a student is to encourage others to become active community members and motivate them to reach new heights. As a student of the University of California, I will contribute my understanding of the human condition and student motivation to help strengthen student relationships within the campus and throughout the community. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? Belief Essay: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? Gratitude Essay: Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? Accomplishment Essay: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Topic Essay: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? Create-Your-Own Essay: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. Many of these essays also demonstrate vulnerability. College admissions officers reading your college application will want to know how your values, qualities, and skills will flourish in college— and how good your writing skills are. We asked dozens of experts on essay writing and test scores for their take on what makes a great college essay.
Check out these five college essay tips below. Imagine how the person reading your essay will feel. No one's idea of a good time is writing a college essay, I know. But if sitting down to write your essay feels like a chore, and you're bored by what you're saying, you can imagine how the person reading your essay will feel. On the other hand, if you're writing about something you love, something that excites you, something that you've thought deeply about, chances are I'm going to set down your application feeling excited, too—and feeling like I've gotten to know you. Write like a journalist. Think about any article you've read—how do you decide to read it? You read the first few sentences and then decide.
The same goes for college essays. A strong lede journalist parlance for "lead" will place your reader in the "accept" mindset from the beginning of the essay. A weak lede will have your reader thinking "reject"—a mindset from which it's nearly impossible to recover. Don't read the Common Application prompts. If you already have, erase them from memory and write the story you want colleges to hear. The truth is, admission reviewers rarely know—or care—which prompt you are responding to. They are curious to discover what you choose to show them about who you are, what you value , and why.
Even the most fluid writers are often stifled by fitting their narrative neatly into a category and the essay quickly loses authentic voice. Write freely and choose a prompt later. Spoiler alert one prompt is "Share an essay on any topic of your choice. This college essay tip is by Brennan Barnard, director of college counseling at the Derryfield School in Manchester, N. and contributor to the NYT, HuffPost, and Forbes on intentionally approaching college admissions. Adding feelings to your essays can be much more powerful than just listing your achievements. It allows reviewers to connect with you and understand your personality and what drives you. In particular, be open to showing vulnerability.
Nobody expects you to be perfect and acknowledging times in which you have felt nervous or scared shows maturity and self-awareness. This college essay tip is by Charles Maynard, Oxford and Stanford University Graduate and founder of Going Merry, which is a one-stop shop for applying to college scholarships. Revise often and early. Your admissions essay should go through several stages of revision. Ask your parents, teachers, high school counselors or friends for their eyes and edits. It should be people who know you best and want you to succeed. Take their constructive criticism in the spirit for which they intend—your benefit.
This college essay tip is by Dhivya Arumugham, Kaplan Test Prep's director of SAT and ACT programs. Written for the Common App college application essays "Tell us your story" prompt. This essay could work for prompts 1 and 7 for the Common App. They covered the precious mahogany coffin with a brown amalgam of rocks, decomposed organisms, and weeds. It was my turn to take the shovel, but I felt too ashamed to dutifully send her off when I had not properly said goodbye. I refused to throw dirt on her. I refused to let go of my grandmother, to accept a death I had not seen coming, to believe that an illness could not only interrupt, but steal a beloved life.
When my parents finally revealed to me that my grandmother had been battling liver cancer, I was twelve and I was angry--mostly with myself. They had wanted to protect me--only six years old at the time--from the complex and morose concept of death. Hurt that my parents had deceived me and resentful of my own oblivion, I committed myself to preventing such blindness from resurfacing. I became desperately devoted to my education because I saw knowledge as the key to freeing myself from the chains of ignorance. While learning about cancer in school I promised myself that I would memorize every fact and absorb every detail in textbooks and online medical journals. And as I began to consider my future, I realized that what I learned in school would allow me to silence that which had silenced my grandmother.
However, I was focused not with learning itself, but with good grades and high test scores. I started to believe that academic perfection would be the only way to redeem myself in her eyes--to make up for what I had not done as a granddaughter. However, a simple walk on a hiking trail behind my house made me open my own eyes to the truth. Over the years, everything--even honoring my grandmother--had become second to school and grades. As my shoes humbly tapped against the Earth, the towering trees blackened by the forest fire a few years ago, the faintly colorful pebbles embedded in the sidewalk, and the wispy white clouds hanging in the sky reminded me of my small though nonetheless significant part in a larger whole that is humankind and this Earth.
Before I could resolve my guilt, I had to broaden my perspective of the world as well as my responsibilities to my fellow humans. Volunteering at a cancer treatment center has helped me discover my path. When I see patients trapped in not only the hospital but also a moment in time by their diseases, I talk to them. For six hours a day, three times a week, Ivana is surrounded by IV stands, empty walls, and busy nurses that quietly yet constantly remind her of her breast cancer. I need only to smile and say hello to see her brighten up as life returns to her face. Upon our first meeting, she opened up about her two sons, her hometown, and her knitting group--no mention of her disease. Without even standing up, the three of us—Ivana, me, and my grandmother--had taken a walk together.
While I physically treat their cancer, I want to lend patients emotional support and mental strength to escape the interruption and continue living. My laptop is like a passport. It is plastered with stickers all over the outside, inside, and bottom. Each sticker is a stamp, representing a place I've been, a passion I've pursued, or community I've belonged to. These stickers make for an untraditional first impression at a meeting or presentation, but it's one I'm proud of. Let me take you on a quick tour:.
Art has been a constant for me for as long as I can remember. Today my primary engagement with art is through design. I've spent entire weekends designing websites and social media graphics for my companies. Design means more to me than just branding and marketing; it gives me the opportunity to experiment with texture, perspective, and contrast, helping me refine my professional style. A rectangular black and red sticker displaying the theme of the TEDxYouth Austin event. For years I've been interested in the street artists and musicians in downtown Austin who are so unapologetically themselves. As a result, I've become more open-minded and appreciative of unconventional lifestyles.
TED gives me the opportunity to help other youth understand new perspectives, by exposing them to the diversity of Austin where culture is created, not just consumed. Poop emoji , middle right. My year-old brother often sends his messages with the poop emoji 'echo effect,' so whenever I open a new message from him, hundreds of poops elegantly cascade across my screen. He brings out my goofy side, but also helps me think rationally when I am overwhelmed. We don't have the typical "I hate you, don't talk to me" siblinghood although occasionally it would be nice to get away from him ; we're each other's best friends.
Or at least he's mine. Bought in seventh grade and transferred from my old laptop, this sticker is torn but persevering with layers of tape. Despite conveying my fangirl-y infatuation with Harry Styles' boyband, One Direction, for me Styles embodies an artist-activist who uses his privilege for the betterment of society. This is the logo of a startup incubator where I launched my first company, Threading Twine. I learned that business can provide others access to fundamental human needs, such as economic empowerment of minorities and education. In my career, I hope to be a corporate advocate for the empowerment of women, creating large-scale impact and deconstructing institutional boundaries that obstruct women from working in high-level positions.
Working as a women's rights activist will allow me to engage in creating lasting movements for equality, rather than contributing to a cycle that elevates the stances of wealthy individuals. Although I attempt to love all my stickers equally haha , this is one of my favorites. I always want my association with work to be positive. And there are many others, including the horizontal, yellow stripes of the Human Rights Campaign ; " The Team ," a sticker from the Model G20 Economics Summit where I collaborated with youth from around the globe; and stickers from " Kode with Klossy ," a community of girls working to promote women's involvement in underrepresented fields. When my computer dies hopefully not for another few years , it will be like my passport expiring.
It'll be difficult leaving these moments and memories behind, but I probably won't want these stickers in my 20s anyways except Harry Styles, that's never leaving. My next set of stickers will reveal my next set of aspirations. They hold the key to future paths I will navigate, knowledge I will gain, and connections I will make. This was written for the Common App college application essays, and works for prompts 1 and 7 or none of them, because the author is that cool :. I write screenplays, short stories, and opinionated blogs and am a regular contributor to my school literary magazine, The Gluestick. I have accumulated over community service hours that includes work at homeless shelters, libraries, and special education youth camps.
I have been evaluated by the College Board and have placed within the top percentile. But I am not any of these things. I am not a test score, nor a debater, nor a writer. I am an anti-nihilist punk rockphilosopher. And I became so when I realized three things:. There is a variety of underwear for a variety of people. You have your ironed briefs for your businessmen, your soft cottons for the average, and hemp-based underwear for your environmental romantics. But underwear do not only tell us about who we are, they also influence our daily interactions in ways most of us don't even understand. For example, I have a specific pair of underwear that is holey, worn out but surprisingly comfortable.
And despite how trivial underwear might be, when I am wearing my favorite pair, I feel as if I am on top of the world. In any case, these articles of clothing affect our being and are the unsung heroes of comfort. I recently debated at the Orange County Speech League Tournament, within the Parliamentary Division. This specific branch of debate is an hour long, and consists of two parties debating either side of a current political issue. During the debate, something strange happened: I realized that we are a special breed of species, that so much effort and resources are invested to ensure mutual destruction. And I felt that this debate in a small college classroom had elucidated something much more profound about the scale of human existence. And that's when I realized that the world was something I will never understand.
One summer night, my friend took me to an underground hardcore punk rock show. It was inside a small abandoned church. After the show, I met and became a part of this small community. Many were lost and on a constant soul-search, and to my surprise, many, like myself, did not have a blue Mohawk or a nose piercing. Many were just ordinary people discussing Nietzsche, string theory, and governmental ideologies. Many were also artists creating promotional posters and inventive slogans for stickers. They were all people my age who could not afford to be part of a record label and did something extraordinary by playing in these abandoned churches, making their own CDs and making thousands of promotional buttons by hand.
I realized then that punk rock is not about music nor is it a guy with a blue Mohawk screaming protests. Punk rock is an attitude, a mindset, and very much a culture. It is an antagonist to the conventional. It means making the best with what you have to contribute to a community. This was when I realized that I was a punk rock philosopher. The world I come from consists of underwear, nuclear bombs, and punk rockers. And I love this world. My world is inherently complex, mysterious, and anti-nihilist. I am David Phan, somebody who spends his weekends debating in a three piece suit, other days immersed within the punk rock culture, and some days writing opinionated blogs about underwear.
But why college? I want a higher education. I want more than just the textbook fed classrooms in high school. A community which prizes revolutionary ideals, a sharing of multi-dynamical perspectives, an environment that ultimately acts as a medium for movement, similar to the punk rock community. I do not see college as a mere stepping stone for a stable career or a prosperous life, but as a supplement for knowledge and self-empowerment; it is a social engine that will jettison us to our next paradigm shift. I would stumble into the kitchen to find my grandma squatting over a large silver bowl, mixing fat lips of fresh cabbages with garlic, salt, and red pepper. That was how the delectable Korean dish, kimchi, was born every weekend at my home. And like my grandma who had always been living with us, it seemed as though the luscious smell of garlic would never leave our home.
Dementia slowly fed on her memories until she became as blank as a brand-new notebook. The ritualistic rigor of Saturday mornings came to a pause, and during dinner, the artificial taste of vacuum-packaged factory kimchi only emphasized the absence of the family tradition. Within a year of diagnosis, she lived with us like a total stranger. One day, my mom brought home fresh cabbages and red pepper sauce. She brought out the old silver bowl and poured out the cabbages, smothering them with garlic and salt and pepper. The familiar tangy smell tingled my nose. Gingerly, my grandma stood up from the couch in the living room, and as if lured by the smell, sat by the silver bowl and dug her hands into the spiced cabbages.
As her bony hands shredded the green lips, a look of determination grew on her face. Though her withered hands no longer displayed the swiftness and precision they once did, her face showed the aged rigor of a professional. For the first time in years, the smell of garlic filled the air and the rattling of the silver bowl resonated throughout the house. That night, we ate kimchi. But kimchi had never tasted better. Try it, my boy. Seeing grandma again this summer, that moment of clarity seemed ephemeral. Her disheveled hair and expressionless face told of the aggressive development of her illness. But holding her hands, looking into her eyes, I could still smell that garlic. The moments of Saturday mornings remain ingrained in my mind. Grandma was an artist who painted the cabbages with strokes of red pepper.
Like the sweet taste of kimchi, I hope to capture those memories in my keystrokes as I type away these words. A piece of writing is more than just a piece of writing. It evokes. It inspires. It captures what time takes away. Mine will be these words. When I was very little, I caught the travel bug. It started after my grandparents first brought me to their home in France and I have now been to twenty-nine different countries. Each has given me a unique learning experience. At five, I marveled at the Eiffel Tower in the City of Lights. When I was eight, I stood in the heart of Piazza San Marco feeding hordes of pigeons, then glided down Venetian waterways on sleek gondolas.
At thirteen, I saw the ancient, megalithic structure of Stonehenge and walked along the Great Wall of China, amazed that the thousand-year-old stones were still in place. It was through exploring cultures around the world that I first became interested in language. It began with French, which taught me the importance of pronunciation. I remember once asking a store owner in Paris where Rue des Pyramides was. But when I pronounced it PYR—a—mides instead of pyr—A—mides, with more accent on the A, she looked at me bewildered. In the eighth grade, I became fascinated with Spanish and aware of its similarities with English through cognates.
Baseball in Spanish, for example, is béisbol, which looks different but sounds nearly the same. This was incredible to me as it made speech and comprehension more fluid, and even today I find that cognates come to the rescue when I forget how to say something in Spanish. Then, in high school, I developed an enthusiasm for Chinese. As I studied Chinese at my school, I marveled how if just one stroke was missing from a character, the meaning is lost. I loved how long words were formed by combining simpler characters, so Huǒ 火 meaning fire and Shān 山 meaning mountain can be joined to create Huǒshān 火山 , which means volcano. I love spending hours at a time practicing the characters and I can feel the beauty and rhythm as I form them.
Interestingly, after studying foreign languages, I was further intrigued by my native tongue. Through my love of books and fascination with developing a sesquipedalian lexicon learning big words , I began to expand my English vocabulary. Studying the definitions prompted me to inquire about their origins, and suddenly I wanted to know all about etymology, the history of words. My freshman year I took a world history class and my love for history grew exponentially. To me, history is like a great novel, and it is especially fascinating because it took place in my own world. But the best dimension that language brought to my life is interpersonal connection.
When I speak with people in their native language, I find I can connect with them on a more intimate level. I want to study foreign language and linguistics in college because, in short, it is something that I know I will use and develop for the rest of my life. I will never stop traveling, so attaining fluency in foreign languages will only benefit me. In the future, I hope to use these skills as the foundation of my work, whether it is in international business, foreign diplomacy, or translation. Today, I still have the travel bug, and now, it seems, I am addicted to language too. Click here for this student's amazing Instagram photos. This was written for a Common App college application essay prompt that no longer exists, which read: Evaluate a significant experience, risk, achievement, ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Smeared blood, shredded feathers. Clearly, the bird was dead. But wait, the slight fluctuation of its chest, the slow blinking of its shiny black eyes. No, it was alive. I had been typing an English essay when I heard my cat's loud meows and the flutter of wings. I had turned slightly at the noise and had found the barely breathing bird in front of me. The shock came first. Mind racing, heart beating faster, blood draining from my face. I instinctively reached out my hand to hold it, like a long-lost keepsake from my youth. But then I remembered that birds had life, flesh, blood. Within seconds, my reflexes kicked in. Get over the shock. Gloves, napkins, towels. How does one heal a bird? I rummaged through the house, keeping a wary eye on my cat.
Donning yellow rubber gloves, I tentatively picked up the bird. Never mind the cat's hissing and protesting scratches, you need to save the bird. You need to ease its pain. But my mind was blank. I stroked the bird with a paper towel to clear away the blood, see the wound. The wings were crumpled, the feet mangled. A large gash extended close to its jugular rendering its breathing shallow, unsteady. The rising and falling of its small breast slowed. Was the bird dying? No, please, not yet. The long drive, the green hills, the white church, the funeral. The Chinese mass, the resounding amens, the flower arrangements.
Me, crying silently, huddled in the corner. The Hsieh family huddled around the casket. So many apologies. Finally, the body lowered to rest. The body. Kari Hsieh. Still familiar, still tangible. Hugging Mrs. Hsieh, I was a ghost, a statue. My brain and my body competed. Emotion wrestled with fact. Kari Hsieh, aged 17, my friend of four years, had died in the Chatsworth Metrolink Crash on Sep. Kari was dead, I thought. My frantic actions heightened my senses, mobilized my spirit. Cupping the bird, I ran outside, hoping the cool air outdoors would suture every wound, cause the bird to miraculously fly away.
Yet there lay the bird in my hands, still gasping, still dying. Bird, human, human, bird. What was the difference? Both were the same. But couldn't I do something? Hold the bird longer, de-claw the cat? I wanted to go to my bedroom, confine myself to tears, replay my memories, never come out. The bird's warmth faded away. Its heartbeat slowed along with its breath. For a long time, I stared thoughtlessly at it, so still in my hands. Slowly, I dug a small hole in the black earth. As it disappeared under handfuls of dirt, my own heart grew stronger, my own breath more steady. Kari has passed. But you are alive. I am alive. This essay could work for prompts 1, 2 and 7 for the Common App. From page 54 of the maroon notebook sitting on my mahogany desk:. I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth and whoever finds me will kill me.
Here is a secret that no one in my family knows: I shot my brother when I was six. Luckily, it was a BB gun. But to this day, my older brother Jonathan does not know who shot him. And I have finally promised myself to confess this eleven year old secret to him after I write this essay. The truth is, I was always jealous of my brother. Our grandparents, with whom we lived as children in Daegu, a rural city in South Korea, showered my brother with endless accolades: he was bright, athletic, and charismatic. To me, Jon was just cocky. Deep down I knew I had to get the chip off my shoulder. Once we situated ourselves, our captain blew the pinkie whistle and the war began.
My friend Min-young and I hid behind a willow tree, eagerly awaiting our orders. To tip the tide of the war, I had to kill their captain. We infiltrated the enemy lines, narrowly dodging each attack. I quickly pulled my clueless friend back into the bush. Hearing us, the alarmed captain turned around: It was my brother. Startled, the Captain and his generals abandoned their post. Vengeance replaced my wish for heroism and I took off after the fleeing perpetrator. Streams of sweat ran down my face and I pursued him for several minutes until suddenly I was arrested by a small, yellow sign that read in Korean: DO NOT TRESPASS: Boar Traps Ahead.
My eyes just gazed at the fleeing object; what should I do? I looked on as my shivering hand reached for the canister of BBs. The next second, I heard two shots followed by a cry. I opened my eyes just enough to see two village men carrying my brother away from the warning sign. I turned around, hurled my BB gun into the nearby Kyung Creek and ran home as fast as I could. Days passed. My brother and I did not talk about the incident. But in the next few weeks, something was happening inside me. That night when my brother was gone I went to a local store and bought a piece of chocolate taffy, his favorite. Several days later, I secretly went into his room and folded his unkempt pajamas. Then, other things began to change. I even ate fishcakes, which he loved but I hated. Student story: Admissions essay about a formative experience.
Student story: Admissions essay about personal identity. Student story: Admissions essay about community impact. Student story: Admissions essay about a past mistake. Student story: Admissions essay about a meaningful poem. Writing tips and techniques for your college essay. Next lesson.
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